Thursday, March 8, 2018

Overlooking the Valley

Every time I go there, I get a lump in my throat. The place reminds me of how I failed. The town's welcome sign is a reminder that it was here that everything fell apart. Today, I had to go back, but this time was different.
Often, we are told that pastors need to be careful of being too transparent. Perhaps that is true. Maybe we should keep up a cloak of perfection to keep the respect of the people we are guiding. Not me, though. I'm not built that way. If anything, I feel that the more transparent I am, the more real I am. I long for people to listen to me, not because I am the "perfect" Christian, but because I follow a perfect Savior.
Today, I went back. Normally, I'd pull my hat low and hope to avoid anyone who may remember me, but let's be honest, after nearly fifteen years, few would even know it was me anymore. Is it to avoid a chance run-in or is it more about the shame? Definitely the shame. I have carried it for a decade and a half. Today, I never pulled the hat down low. I refused to hurry away to avoid some awkward interaction that may/may not happen. Instead, I went to the mountain, overlooking the valley where I fled when my world collapsed.
I thought about Peter. As he denied Christ three times, he had failed. He was forgiven and restored by Jesus, but I always wonder how often he thought about the courtyard where he denied knowing Jesus. When he walked by the courtyard, did he feel the pain that came the night he refused to acknowledge his allegiance to Jesus? Did the shame hit again that the One who was being beaten and would be nailed to a cross was dying for him? Could he hear his own words from that night repeatedly in his ears, ever the reminder of the day he failed?
I drove to the top of the mountain today, but today was different. As I drove, I kept thinking about how far my life has come since that time. Not because I am any good, understand that. My life has progressed because of the mercies of God and the power of the Lord. Period. He could have left me in the valley but today, He led me to the mountaintop. From the time of my life's collapse to today, one verse continued to minister to me and push me forward - "Though a righteous man falls seven times, he will get up, but the wicked will stumble into ruin." Proverbs 24:16. I had fallen. God had picked me up. He dusted me off, redeemed me, and restored me just as He restored Peter after the courtyard.
Did I know that I had been forgiven? Yes. Scripture is clear on the forgiveness of sin. However, I continued all these years to carry the shame. Not today. The cross held more than just the sin on the day that Jesus died for us. The shame was nailed there as well, the shame that I do not have to carry anymore. In Christ, I am a new creation. Today, His mercies are new. And I am no longer in that valley - I am on the mountaintop.
Before I left today, it began to snow lightly. Ever the excited snow-lover, I stood and watched as the flakes descended from heaven to the earth below. And then He taught me more about His grace. Psalm 51:7 says, "Purify me with hyssop, and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow." Isaiah 1:18 says, "Though your sins are like scarlet, they will be as white as snow." The Lord knows I can be a slow learner, but those snowflakes assured that I would get the message today, a message He sent on a mountaintop that overlooked a once overwhelming valley.
Why does this matter to you? Because the same God who restored my life to something greater than it ever would have been, the same Lord who is the defining force of my life, is the same one who will do the same for you. You may be in the valley, but if the Lord is allowed to take over, He can take you to the mountaintop as well and when you arrive at the pinnacle, you will know that it was the work of His hands that lifted you to such a height. And at that place, you will truthfully sing, "It is well with my soul."

Wednesday, March 7, 2018

Shrugging or Sobbing?

Paul's desire to reach the lost has never been in question. He planted churches, completed missionary journeys that baffle our minds today, leaving a footprint of faith that exists until today. He wrote to the Philippians a letter that gives great verses that empower believers. Yet, when he reaches what we know as the end of the third chapter, he writes a phrase that has spoken to my heart so deeply that I have written a book based on the verse. He wrote, "For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are enemies of the cross of Christ." (Philippians 3:18 NKJV)
Tears flowed as the words were written. Tears came as the realization set in even more, without the cross those souls were doomed. For Paul, it was personal. For Paul, it wasn't simply that they were of a different mindset. To him, the gut-wrenching truth said that those people were a breath away from a Christ-less eternity and it brought tears to his eyes.
Jesus had a similar experience. As the time came for Christ to go to the cross, to die for the sins of humanity, He came to Jerusalem and wept for a city and a people that were misguided and lost. Luke records it this way: "Now as He drew near, He saw the city and wept over it, saying "If you had known, even you, especially in this your day, the things that make for your peace! But now they are hidden from your eyes." (Luke 19:41-42 NKJV)
David Jeremiah said that Jesus wept for three reasons: "1) the great privileges that were being abused; 2) the great possibilities that had been rejected; and 3)the great punishment He knew was coming on the city and its people." The state of their soul distressed the Savior in such a way that it brought tears to His eyes. What they had needed stood in front of them yet they could not see. 
So, looking at these Scriptures, we ask ourselves, "What is our reaction to the lost nature of the souls around us?" Are we truly moved by the reality of that which awaits those who reject Christ or is it not that big of a deal to us? Those who shrug their shoulders in response to someone's dive towards hell never understood how Jesus viewed those souls. One who can shrug their shoulders fail to understand that the Great Commission is more than a good suggestion. Are we moved to tears as we watch Satan shackle the lives of others and if so, what will we do about it? The ones whose souls are moved in such a way by the lost nature of another are the ones who will not stop in their quest to take the gospel to those who need it the most. Those who are untouched by the lost nature of others are content in religious activities without committal to the cross. Now that leads to the ultimate question - "Am I moved to tears or can I shrug it off as not my problem?" The answer to that tells the depth of our understanding of Jesus.